Bingo Babe Talk

I have met some wonderful people at Bingo. To me it is like a big club. You can walk into any Bingo hall, in ANYTOWN USA and meet someone interesting. But then again, there are the unusual bingo babes. The Babes we wonder about. Here are just a few.

The Troll Lady Bingo Babe. You know the Babe I am talking about. Every hall has one. She always gets to Bingo at least an hour early so she can take up and entire table for herself and set up all her little troll dolls. There has to be at least a dozen of them for her to qualify as a true Troll Lady Bingo Babe. As she plays Bingo she talks to them and makes them pretend to run over her cards wishing her good luck. And a little advice….Never…Ever…touch the Troll Lady’s trolls. Tell her how cute they are, but don’t touch.

Then there is the Born Again Bingo Babe. Most of the night she will pray to Jesus, holding her hand to her heart for that one ball she needs to Bingo. If she is lucky enough to Bingo, she will tell all her table-mates it was Gods will, because, God will always answer your wishes if you pray hard enough. I guess now I know what I have been doing wrong all these years.

Usually at another table in earshot of the Born again Babe, would be the OH SHIT Bingo Babe. I don’t know why it happens that way. But as one is praying to Jesus, the other is cursing his name, upsetting the bejesus out of the Born again Babe. Every time she is waiting for a number, and the wrong number comes up, she will say "OH SHIT!…JESUS!…I ONLY NEED B10 or N33!"

I need to mention, my personal pet peeve…

The Dauber Banger Bingo Babe - she absolutely gets on my last nerve. I am sure you all have encountered one of them. You can’t hear anything around you, and can’t concentrate on anything else except her dauber BANGING on every number. I have never understood the mentality of a Dauber Banger Babe. They have to know it bothers you. You tell them it bothers you and they do it anyway. Well I’m here to tell you Dauber Banger Babe…YOU NEED TO STOP IT…PLEASE…JUST STOP IT.

On that same note...
We have the Number Repeater Bingo Babe, and the Complainer Bingo Babe. Then of course there’s the Shusher Bingo Babe trying to shush them both, only to be silenced by the Miserable, Mean, Ugly Bingo Babe who will ultimately take her cigarette out of her mouth just long enough to tell them all to “shut the hell up”.