Bingo Babe Talk

Have you ever had one of those days where nothing was going right?

Well I’m here to tell ya Babes, today, was one of those days.

All I wanted to do was clean out my Bingo bag to get ready for Bingo. I always clean my daubers and make sure they are all full before I head out the door.

Anyway, Like I was saying. I was cleaning my daubers and wanted to go ahead and fill them all up. I have a simple routine I use to keep the mess contained…or so I thought.

I set a plastic wash basin, which I got at the dollar store, on the counter next to the sink. I put an old newspaper next to it to daub off the extra ink. I use paper towels to twist off the caps and clean the dried ink from around the edges of the dauber sponges. Under the sink I keep a box, which I toss almost empty daubers into. Sometimes it’s fun to try and mix up different colors, but a word of warning Babes, you must be careful when you do this, because it is not a good idea to mix different brand inks.

Anyway, I pulled out a bottle of purple ink and decided to mix it with pink. Carefully, I removed the spongecaps from both bottles, setting the bottles next to the sink. The caps with the ink soaked paper towels went into the basin. I swear to you, I only turned my back for a moment. But just as I turned my back, my cat jumped onto the counter knocking over both bottles, splattering ink everywhere. Ink flowed quickly over the edge of the counter, down the side and onto the floor. I scream in horror as the pink mixes with the purple in a stream under the table.
Tsunami (yes, my cats name is Tsunami) takes off with a tail full of ink…The dog comes running, slides through the ink and then proceeds to chase the cat who was now standing on my couch shaking her ink covered paws in disgust. I let out another blood curdling scream as my husband comes running in and slips on the ink the dog had tracked all over the floor. I jump forward trying to catch my husband and…you guessed it…Down I go with him into a pool of ink. The dog, thinking this is all great fun comes bounding back wagging his ink laden tail to see what is going on. With all the excitement he starts running around the house barking and trailing ink everywhere. Tsunami just sat down looking very amused at the whole situation as she swished her tail back and forth rubbing ink all over the back of the couch and the wall.

Within moments there was not an inch of my house that wasn’t covered in ink. It trailed down the hallway into the bedrooms, over my bedspreads. All the furniture was covered in paw prints. This was beyond just a little ink miss-hap. Leaning on one elbow, my husband tries to wipe the ink off his face, but instead just spreads a purple streak from his nose to his hairline. I start to laugh as the tears roll down my face. The only one who could help us now would be “The Cat in the Hat”.

So I am asking all my Bingo Babe friends for help. If anyone out there knows the secret how to get dauber ink out of carpets or off of upholstered furniture, this Bodacious Bingo Babe really needs your help. Please Contact Me me with your suggestions.

I have met some wonderful people at Bingo. To me it is like a big club. You can walk into any Bingo hall, in ANYTOWN USA and meet someone interesting. But then again, there are the unusual bingo babes. The Babes we wonder about. Here are just a few.

The Troll Lady Bingo Babe. You know the Babe I am talking about. Every hall has one. She always gets to Bingo at least an hour early so she can take up and entire table for herself and set up all her little troll dolls. There has to be at least a dozen of them for her to qualify as a true Troll Lady Bingo Babe. As she plays Bingo she talks to them and makes them pretend to run over her cards wishing her good luck. And a little advice….Never…Ever…touch the Troll Lady’s trolls. Tell her how cute they are, but don’t touch.

Then there is the Born Again Bingo Babe. Most of the night she will pray to Jesus, holding her hand to her heart for that one ball she needs to Bingo. If she is lucky enough to Bingo, she will tell all her table-mates it was Gods will, because, God will always answer your wishes if you pray hard enough. I guess now I know what I have been doing wrong all these years.

Usually at another table in earshot of the Born again Babe, would be the OH SHIT Bingo Babe. I don’t know why it happens that way. But as one is praying to Jesus, the other is cursing his name, upsetting the bejesus out of the Born again Babe. Every time she is waiting for a number, and the wrong number comes up, she will say "OH SHIT!…JESUS!…I ONLY NEED B10 or N33!"

I need to mention, my personal pet peeve…

The Dauber Banger Bingo Babe - she absolutely gets on my last nerve. I am sure you all have encountered one of them. You can’t hear anything around you, and can’t concentrate on anything else except her dauber BANGING on every number. I have never understood the mentality of a Dauber Banger Babe. They have to know it bothers you. You tell them it bothers you and they do it anyway. Well I’m here to tell you Dauber Banger Babe…YOU NEED TO STOP IT…PLEASE…JUST STOP IT.

On that same note...
We have the Number Repeater Bingo Babe, and the Complainer Bingo Babe. Then of course there’s the Shusher Bingo Babe trying to shush them both, only to be silenced by the Miserable, Mean, Ugly Bingo Babe who will ultimately take her cigarette out of her mouth just long enough to tell them all to “shut the hell up”.